Viet’s Strange Adventure Home for the First Time

It’s been some time. So I figured I’d put pen to pad again. I’ve had time to think and reflect about everything that has happened on this trip. Needless to say it’s been eye opening for myself. I’ve learned so much about my history I don’t even know where to start. The love story that played out in my head turned out differently than hoped. Which sucked I won’t say that it didn’t. But even when you put your best foot forward, there is always the potential to fail. Failure is a part of the human experience. There are sayings like “A master has failed more times than a novice has even attempted “ or something like that. I am reminded that there’s a lesson to be learned in everything. Even failure. It was not so much about an epic love story with all the elements of a summer blockbuster. With that being said, this trip has provided much needed information about me, the things I want out of life, etc. It has been exciting traveling all over Southern Vietnam, learning about my famil...

Well, here we are. I think this will be the last entry for a while. Might as well just put it all out there. It was a long shot in the dark from the beginning, but I had to try. Lord knows I tried. Trying to spark romance over long distance is never easy. It’s damn near impossible, especially when you yourself are unsure about the whole endeavor. Even as I’m writing this I’m wrestling with emotional upheveals of despair, sadness, and what could I have done differently. Truth is, for any relationship to work it takes dedication, communication, and sacrifice. Without all three, the relationship will be difficult to maintain. This all started a little over a year ago at this point, as I thought it was a joke. Then after exchanging a few messages I at least knew Ha was a real person. Even though the messages keep me up late at night responding, I was trying to get to know her. What her dreams were, what she wanted out of life.  And I enjoyed having someone to talk to. She’d ask ...

Well, had to rethink this post. I was getting so neurotic that it was causing me to panic and start to make assumptions that I could not logically validate . So my apologies. But this trip has shaken me to my core. For the first time in a long while, I am completely dependent on the kindness and advice of others. It’s a rare thing to me because I tend to figure out how to make my way on my own terms and move forward, but not being able to do so has completely flipped me upside down.  So instead of internalizing it like I usually do, I vocalized it to a family member here whose help I will depend on even more trying to do this the traditional way. They didn’t speak to me much the other day at the beach because they believed I was tired and not in the mood to be social. Which I just shot myself in the foot there because I was so focused on how miserable I felt I didn’t appreciate the things around me: The ocean, one of the most beautiful girls I have ever encountered,...

After the long awaited arrival, we make our way to the mother of my stepmother rental house in Ho Chi Minh City. My father and stepmother are catching up with the uncles and I look on out the window taking in the sites and sounds of Ho Chi Minh City at night. Wasn’t too much happening because it was so late, but the neon signs and lights were as bright and colorful as expected from what I have seen in films and movies. All the while I kept stealing glances at her, still in awe that she greeted me at the airport and was kind enough to keep my bottle of water as I helped load luggage into the van. Although I had slept on the plane, I kept dozing off all the way there. So we arrive at our destination around 3:00 a.m. Its through a narrow alleyway that we come to the front door. We get the luggage unloaded and everyone begins to unwind a little. Watching my dad and my stepmom, they begin to open the big boxes we had brought with us from Kansas. It was like Christmas all over again. There...

It’s over, the non stop flights are over. I have finally made it to my ancestral home. I should feel excited but I’m nervous as fuck and don’t know what to expect. So I’ll go back to another conversation that I had with my father on the way here first. We finally made it to Ho Chi Minh City. A mix up at Tokyo Narita had us there longer than we should have been. Four hours longer. You could hear the collective disdain as they announced it. I felt bad for the flight staff because they were only doing their jobs and even gave out complimentary coffee and snacks while we waited, which gave me and good ole dad another opportunity to talk. This time I wanted to actually discuss my little brother with him.  “I told Chien about this whole trip” “Yeah” “ He’d be interested if you could do something similar for him.” “I can’t. It no good for him.”  And it makes sense. He’s incapable of making any more children. As a result of other issues I won’t go into here. W...

Well, On top of dealing with my own feelings, my family gives me plenty of opportunity to utilize my meditation experience and the teachings of the Buddha to get through this life. No family is without some form of drama. My family however seems to be a constant mixture of soap opera and talk shows. I swear I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried, and fun fact, I wanted to be a writer back in elementary school. I even took it as far has writing my own action film in middle school, but other activities start to interest me and I scrapped the script. But I digress. My relationship with my mom has been really interesting. At first, she was a source of wisdom and compassion, thought she was the best mom ever. And what kid doesn’t think that at first about their mom? In the realm of Vietnamese Buddhism, it’s a saying that the first two Buddha’s you meet in this life are your mother and father. At first, without any experience of my own, it proved to be true. They taught me how ...